Emerging

Last week I saw a post shared that there was going to be a figure drawing session at a local art center this past Sunday. Before the pandemic I had seen similar posts, but these sessions were held on Thursday evenings. I taught on Thursday evenings so I was never able to go. When I saw this particular post I felt compelled to go. I haven’t been to a figure drawing session since college, I have felt the urge recently to sketch live people and I had a burning desire to leave my house and be in a room with other creative people who also feel how I feel. Sunday is “family” day in our house even though my teen daughter seems to always have other plans now and so does my younger son. I thought, what will I do here? I’d spend another day catering to my puppy and sitting around stifled. I reached out to a friend and fellow artist and asked if she planned to go. Her answer was yes and my answer was YES! On Sunday I felt a bit lazy and tired and I felt a desire to forget about it, but I sent a quick text to me friend who was still going. I left my brain and went into auto pilot mode, got my supplies together, got dressed and drove over there.

In the parking lot I felt a surge of excitement. It was unpredictable in all of the best ways after living in a space for almost two years of unpredictability in all of the bad ways. I am so tired of that. I prefer the fun type of not knowing. I met my friend and we tried to figure out where the room was in this maze of buildings. On the way we saw some other people holding their supplies and right away I felt connected to them. I felt my heart fill and I just wanted to be close. We entered a door that led to nowhere and back outside where we saw two other people holding their pad up above us on a bridge. My adventurous friend said, “Let’s just climb up the hill”. Fun! And so we did.

We entered the room a bit late with that feeling of anxious anticipation. Figure drawing classes generally start with quick warms ups where you sketch the model in various poses in very short increments. We found a space in the crowded room and got to work, again without the pressure of our brain thinking too much. No time to think, just do. I immediately was back to my college days like riding a bike. Everyone in the room in unison was sketching feverishly. I felt so happy, just so grateful to be there. In breaks we’d talk about life, looking into each other’s eyes and feeling the warmth, almost like a love.

I thought earlier that morning before I got there that I’d leave early (Mother guilt), but the hours flew by and before we knew it we were in the last 25 minute pose. I heard the man behind me, a man I met that day who I really liked sketching so fast that his pencil was making a very quick scratching sound that brought me intense joy. Collective energy. There is nothing better. I have missed it.

These past months and almost years have been long. We have adapted and shifted and that is impressive but also draining. I know that I have had to pull back in so many ways and redirect my energy and that has pulled me away from a large aspect of life that I am still trying to put my finger on. What I do know though is that I saw an opportunity that I felt pulled to and I just showed up. That little pull sometimes is all we need to find our way back to ourselves and to emerge in maybe new ways. As usual I am so grateful for art and for those who bring that energy out into the world. It is a lifeline for me.

There was music playing in the room and one of the last songs was Freddy Mercury’s, “Time”. Perfect. Don’t take your little urges for granted. Say yes. Time waits for nobody.

Time waits for nobody
Time waits for nobody
We all must plan our hopes together
And we'll have no more future at all
Time waits for nobody

We might as well be deaf and dumb and blind
I know that sounds unkind
But it seems to me
We've not listened to
Or spoken about it at all
The fact that time was running out for us all

Time waits for nobody
Time waits for no one
We've got to build this world together
Or we'll have no more future at all
Because time
It waits for nobody
Nobody

You don't need me to tell you what's gone wrong
You know what's going on
And it seems to me we've not cared enough
Or confided in each other at all
It seems like we've all got our backs against the wall

Time waits for nobody
Time waits for no one
We've got to trust one another
Or we'd have no more future at all

Because time
Waits for nobody
Waits for nobody
Time waits for no one
Best not to be friends with one another
Or we'd have no more future at all
Time waits for nobody

For nobody, nobody, nobody
For no one